lunes, 17 de septiembre de 2007

Lifestyle in New York (Draft 1)

General idea: lifestyle in New York
Principal ideas: 1. how is lifestyle
2.how are people
3. how live people
4. what do they
Introductory paragraph: What people there are in New York and their caracteristics
Supporting paragraph 1: Lifestyle is hectic, how are people and what they eat
Supporting paragraph 2: how is transport
Supporting paragraph 3: how they live (apartament or house)
Concluding paragraph: summary lifestyle in New York

New york is the biggest city of United States, it is know how capital the world. In this city there are people all the world such as Irish, Italian, Dominican, Chinese, Korean, Puerto Rican, African and Jewish. Each one have their own neighborhoods in the city. Many people won´t life in this city beacuse it is very expensive, every person should earn 250.000 dolars in the year for they can to have comfortable life, for that reason, the majority of people live in New York are young, single and with university studies. In the following lines I will talk about how is lifestyle of New Yorkers or of whom live in New York.

Lifestyle of New Yorkers is hectic becuse all places are away, then they are in constant activity every day. They are busy all time. They almost never are in their house resting. For this reason, often the New Yorkers are seen as holders of an attitude of superiority by a little time that to be able to dedicate to nobody more. Beside, they have a unhealthy lifestyle because they have not the oportunity of healthy eat. In New York there are many restaurant but the mayority of restaurants are junk food because New Yorkers have not time and then they have to eat rapidly.

In New York as all places are away, the New Yorkers prefer public transport because the high tariffs of parking, and the congestion of the traffic, they normally use underground of New York beacuse they think it is fast and efficient, although other people like walk, or take a taxi and a bus. It is a polluted city.

The 90% of the news yorkers live in comfortable, modern and spacious apartments. these aparatements are in building with an architecture significant and with a great variety of styles. The mayority building are surrounded by resturants, museums, theatres and shops. The New Yorkers in their free time make sport, go to art gallery and museums. They like very much art and historical pleaces.

New York is expensive, has different transports, is noisy and picturesque, people are very busy then they are not pay attetion to you, they don´t worry life of the other people. I think that it is a excellent city to live single. This city is bigger than Boston, you will can to have variety oportunity of work and know people. In New York is easy to live.









1 comentario:

Claudia Acero dijo...

Some suggestions:
First Paragraph
1. The outline includes a WH-word+Subject+verb
2. pASSIVE VOICE: is known, is given, is identified, is recognized
3. HOW vs. AS: similar translation but different uses in English
4. all over the world
5. life vs. live
6. MODAL VERB without TO
7. USE OF RELATIVE PRONOUNS: people who live
8. Last line: how the lifestyle in NY is: INDIRECT QUESTIONS

Second Paragraph
1. away, far away
2. THEN vs FOR THIS REASON vs THAT IS WHY
3. ADVERBS OF FREQUENCY: S+AF+V; S+TOBE+AF
4. The 3rd sentences needs to be changed, the idea is not clear
5. BESIDE vs BESIDES
6.AN VS A
7.HAVEN´T + PAST PARTICIPLE VS. DOESN´T HAVE VS. HAVEN´T GOT
8. Avoid using ARE: offer,
9. as places are away: it needs to be structured in a different way
10. Singular vs plurals

VERY INTERESTING IDEAS.
QUITE ORGANIZED. Include TOPIC SENTENCES for your paragraphs, and if possible more figures, statistics and numbers. Also if you can include the expressions in the book such as THE MAJORITY, MOST OF ..., etc.

Do not forget to write DRAFT 1 and FINAL VERSION
CLAUDIA A.
September 19, 2007